Letters, Read Just One Last Time

First published on my earlier joebrown site in 2010

For many dark years, you could not open the cupboard, or the box in the safe. To leaf through the first few photographs would be enough to send you over the edge, to sit on the floor with them spread around you and cry like a lost child. But that was then. Taken from the cupboard you now have your lost life pinned up where you can see them all, celebrate them all. There is still grief, but it is manageable.

The box took longer, is still taking longer. The words in the first few letters become unreadable through ceaseless tears.
For a long time the temptation to simply tip the lot into a pile and burn them has been there, and that is what should happen, but you find that you cannot, but have made yourself a promise – before their immolation as a payment to hopefully halt your grief, you must read each of them just one last time.

To date September 2024, still not done. A ‘wallow’ is something I can definitely do without, given the last few dark, miserable, years.

One I did read again, that was never sent. Names changed.
Download or Read in Browser: The4thLetter

The Follies Of Saint-Palais-sur-Mer

First published on joebrown.org.uk on 2012/07/16
I turned, and we walked the short distance back to Carthowen’s overblown mansion, it’s grotesque kitsch borrowed from the styles of a hundred different worlds.
He halted suddenly when he saw Cilla and the hapless Carthowen, tethered by his neck ring to the rear of the saddle.
I laughed. “Don’t be afraid of her. She is here to protect you and take you home, so climb aboard.”
I waited until he was in the saddle, then climbed up after him, and whispered softly to Cilla. “Sbwriel yn Anwylyd, er ei fod yn rhoi drosedd i syllu arnynt.”
She turned her head to face the house and drew breath.

When she had finished, all that was left of Carthowen’s monstrous folly was a pile of incandescent rubble, and his anguished whimpering behind me.
I made no comment as we lifted into the air.


(From ‘Closed Circle‘ by the author)

It isn’t very often that I come across a house that I don’t like. Most appear aesthetically pleasing, some outstandingly attractive. The remainder are generally banal, even boring, but not usually causing me offense.

There is the odd building though, that sets off a physical wrinkling in my nose, a psychological jangling of broken bells in my head. Fortunately, I’ve found it easy to turn my head and look elsewhere, maybe at a more pleasing specimen. But what if you find yourself in a road, where every house looks like a badly reconstructed dog’s breakfast? Where do you look? What do you do now?
Well it did happen – some time ago, on a holiday in Vaux-sur-Mer. And I did do something – I took photographs of some of the hideous monstrosities as my girlfriend and I progressed down the road.

Now, several years later, I’m busy re-visiting photos, with a view to making these available for friends on the website, and I came across them.

This part of the French coastline, just north of Royan is a popular getaway for thousands of Frenchmen, amongst the richest of whom, have built themselves weekend homes.
Some of these homes draw on, and blend favourably with, the local building styles, and are both attractive and easy on the eye. Some of them sadly, are not, and reflect a tasteless and uninformed collage of styles ranging from la belle epoch to the present day, from almost every country in Europe, all rolled-up in one house. The result is ghastly, so bad that it’s completely hilarious.

Finally, I would like to add that there are two gorgeous beaches here, lots to see, plenty good food to be had, a lively market and very friendly people – a lovely place for a holiday in fact. (so the weekend French have got something right)

The ‘Follies’

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A footnote. June, my girlfriend at the time, had remarked when we visited Royan, that everything had been built from the from the fifties onwards. I had made no remark other than to agree with her. To have ‘mentioned the war’ was not on my agenda.
I had talked later to a lovely lady friend who taught German in a college in Ely,and she had confirmed that several German friends had visited, as Royan was considered to be a ‘war grave’.
Indeed it was. Retrospective opinion regarded the complete devastation of Royan by ‘carpet’ bombing, including the use of napalm, to have been completely unnecessary, and the huge French and German casualties to be regarded as nothing short of a war crime.

Why don’t we do it in the road?

Why don’t we d-do it in the road? Mmm
Why don’t we do it in the road? Ah
Why don’t we do it in the road? Mmm
Why don’t we do it in the road? Mmm
No one will be watching us
Why don’t we do it in the road?

Apparently, Paul McCartney was inspired to write this song after witnessing two monkeys having sex in the middle of the road in India. He described it as a liberating sight.
I’m not so sure about this one.
Grateful thanks to Phil Taylor for the photo.

IB50 – Big Brother Bombast or Bureaucratic Bullshit?

This is a copy of a post I formerly published on another of my websites, some considerable time ago.
It demonstrates quite clearly the offhand and demeaning treatment to anyone in the UK who is on the ‘radar’ of the UK’s so-called Benefit system.
It also demonstrates the patently obvious poor quality of employees who ‘manned’ the telephones purporting to give ‘help’ and ‘assistance’ to the general public.

The poor individual I spoke to, had no idea that I was recording our conversation, but having had to put up with stupidity and ignorance before with these folks, I was determined to capture exactly, what was said between us. He was also unaware of what lay in wait for him, as I have to admit here, that I knew exactly what I wanted to ask, having ascertained what I was entitled to.
My ‘interviewing’ technique may seem a little cruel to others, but in all honesty, I actually enjoyed his all-too-apparent discomfort, naughty of me I know. In retrospect, here was an individual who should never have been placed into a public-facing role.

BBBombast

Pride

It is said the ‘pride comes before a fall’. The ‘old’ folks know best, and several times I have witnessed both the ‘pride’, and consequent ‘fall’, of pompous idiots. A colloquial expression that springs to mind about such a person, usually, but not exclusively a male, is that they have their heads so far up their own arse, their brains have turned to shit.

By far the most dramatic example I have ever witnessed was whilst working at a fully-functional Power Station, whilst constructing an extension to a switch-house.

In this short but true tale, I have changed the names involved, and also the name of the station itself. This event took place very early in my ‘career’ as a steel-erector, and like other power stations, it was unceremoniously dismantled some time ago.

Looking around Britain, and other locations in the world, it would seem that the only ‘stuff’ we build that actually survives, are the walls built to keep us apart, both physically and metaphorically.

Pride

Meet My Neighbours

The couple living across the road are Portuguese, quiet, shy and retiring.

To put that another way, they run like Hell, if I put my size 12’s outside my door. Well, at least they did until a couple of days ago.

Turns out they like Fado music – Mariza in particular, and will sit outside my open door listening, hypnotised, as I am, with the beautiful voice and music.

Even when approached, as I had done to take this photo, they appeared calm, and less skittish.

Fado Cats

Fado Cats

I’m a Fado cat,
I’ve just found out.
I used to run like Hell,
When he was about.

Since he plays those tunes,
I just sit and sway,
Even when he’s there,
I can’t run away.

A Fado cat,
A Fado cat,
To Hell with running,
Just fancy that!

A Fado cat,
I want to stay,
Just sit swaying here,
Don’t go away.

Don’t want no food,
Don’t want no play,
Just listen to Fado,
Here I’ll stay.

A Fado cat,
‘Cos now I know,
There’s no where else,
I’d rather go.

I’m A Fado cat,
A Fado cat,
To Hell with running,
I’m finished with that.