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About joesportugal

Developer

Gone, But Not Forgotten

When I wrote the recent blog ‘Will no one rid me of this LibreOffice Writer ‘suggestion’ rubbish?’, a thought had floated through my mind that I had deliberately ‘abused’ Henry II’s (attributed) question once before. Knowing that this famous line has been deliberately misquoted already by many others, I dismissed the thought. However, tonight, whilst trolling through some ‘old’ stuff on my local copy of a one-time blog of mine ‘joebrown.org.uk’ I came across it:

Goodbye, Blue Sky Thinking – Hello, Cloud Computing?


Who will rid me of this turbulent technobabble?
With apologies to Henry II)

My observation went on to say: ‘I tease, of course. There are now so many levels of abstraction between the software developer and the actual hardware, that it makes sense for sales buffs and techno-ignorant managers to use terminology they feel comfortable with. However, I feel that in the case of ‘Cloud Computing’, the term only serves to obfuscate, rather than enlighten. Remember – issues get ‘clouded’, there are ‘clouds of anger’, etc., etc.

So the tools we will use will be located on a server on the Internet – there now, that wasn’t too hard was it? (Yeah – but it ain’t a sexy soundbite I hear you say.)‘

The article (published in 2010) went on to demonstrate an example thus: ‘mbed is down for scheduled maintenance’
Things didn’t get much better in the UK, but were worse, much worse on my move to Portugal in 2012. It is only NOW in 2024, that I have access to ‘fibre’ broadband, having put up with ADSL, satellite, et al – mostly useless for too damn long.
By the way, both connectable.org.uk and joebrown.org.uk are (mostly) on the ‘wayback‘ machine. I say ‘mostly’ because there are sections and pictures missing in several places – don’t blame wayback, blame one.com for the ‘cavalier’ attitude they had to folks data.

Should anyone want ‘clarity’ or info on articles, then contact me via a ‘comment’ form.
I have ‘local’ copies of both websites running on one of my own servers.
Please be aware that these comprise a huge amount of work, at the time both websites were very popular.

My little stick of Blackpool Rock

Admission. It was after reading the ineffable rubbish regarding Fatima, that I was reminded of other samples of the boundless crap touted by so-called ‘charities’, particularly those of a religious bent. Some considerable time ago, I read of the Church of America ‘curing’ gay men of their ‘pernicious behaviour’ and apparently making them straight. I presented my problem by email, and was a little surprised at the very negative response, I can’t think why.
So from back in 2009, first published on ‘Serial Failures’ is my account:

I’ve just come back after a visit to Blackpool and my partner was very angry with me when I presented her with a stick of Whitley Bay Rock. Let me explain, I promised her I’d bring her back a stick of Blackpool Rock and I forgot. Rather than ‘fess up, I called in to ‘The Candyman’ sweet shop on the way home and bought a stick of local rock (which has ‘Whitley Bay’ written all the way through it) thinking she wouldn’t notice, but of course she did. She stormed off in one of her tempers and her last words were – ‘keep your promise, and get me a stick of Blackpool Rock, or I’ll never speak to you again!’

I hunted around on the Internet and came across a Church in America that says that anything is possible if you try hard enough, so I emailed them regarding changing the lettering in the middle of my rock.

I was surprised and a little hurt when the Pastor replied to my email reprimanding me for my frivolous and disrespectful request.

Now I would have thought that if this Church can convert Gay men into Heterosexuals, it should be a cinch to sort out my Rock problem.

Whaddya Fink?

Fatima, Wherefore Art Thou?

Fátima, porque estás?

Tradução para Português
Proudly announced on the website of ‘The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Manila’ on Nov. 10th 2024.

‘As the worldwide Catholic Church prepares for the 100th anniversary celebration of the apparition to Our Lady of Fatima to The Venerable Sr. Lucia dos Santos in Pontevedra, Spain next year, the World Apostolate of Fatima (WAF) Philippines invites the faithful to take part on the National Fatima Convention on the Centenary of the Five First Saturday Devotion of December 10th 2024.’

Hmmm! Now I always thought, and was taught, that ‘Our Lady of Fatima’ referred to the ‘manifestation’ of the Virgin Mary to three girls in Fatima, Portugal. There is not one mention of that in this article.
‘Smacks’ to me like another copycat ‘apparition’ used to boost tourist income.

Wickipaedia has this: ‘Fátima is a Portuguese city located in Serra de Aire , headquarters of the Parish of Fátima of the Municipality of Ourém , in the former province of Beira Litoral , and in the current region Oeste e Vale do Tejo and NUT3 of Médio Tejo , a parish with 71.29 km² of area [ 1 ] and 13,212 inhabitants ( 2021 census ) [ 2 ] , therefore having a population density of 185.3 inhab./km².

Its worldwide fame is due to the phenomenon of the apparitions of the Virgin Mary reported by three shepherd children from May 13 to October 13 , 1917.‘

I also have another issue with the article, I quote ‘worldwide Catholic Church prepares for the 100th anniversary celebration of the apparition to Our Lady of Fatima to The Venerable Sr. Lucia dos Santos in Pontevedra, Spain’

Who wrote this rubbish?

For more ‘icing on the cake’, and slapping it on thick, read this: Apparitions at Pontevedra

Português
Orgulhosamente anunciado no site da ‘Arquidiocese Católica Romana de Manila’ a 10 de novembro de 2024

‘Enquanto a Igreja Católica mundial se prepara para a celebração do 100º aniversário da aparição de Nossa Senhora de Fátima à Venerável Irmã Lúcia dos Santos em Pontevedra, Espanha, no próximo ano, o Apostolado Mundial de Fátima (WAF) Filipinas convida os fiéis a participar sobre a Convenção Nacional de Fátima no Centenário dos Cinco Primeiros Sábados Devocionais de 10 de Dezembro de 2024.’

Hmmm! Ora sempre pensei, e ensinaram-me, que “Nossa Senhora de Fátima” se referia à “manifestação” da Virgem Maria a três meninas em Fátima, Portugal. Não há uma menção a isso neste artigo.
‘Parece-me’ como outra ‘aparição’ imitadora usada para aumentar o rendimento turístico.

A Wickipedia tem isto: ‘Fátima é uma cidade portuguesa situada na Serra de Aire, sede da Freguesia de Fátima do Concelho de Ourém, na antiga província da Beira Litoral, e na actual região Oeste e Vale do Tejo e NUT3 do Médio Tejo, freguesia com 71,29 km² de área[1] e 13.212 habitantes (censos 2021)[2], tendo portanto uma densidade populacional de 185,3 hab./km².

A sua fama mundial deve-se ao fenómeno das aparições da Virgem Maria relatadas por três pastorinhos de 13 de Maio a 13 de Outubro de 1917. ‘

Tenho também outro problema com o artigo, cito ‘A Igreja Católica mundial prepara-se para a celebração do 100º aniversário da aparição de Nossa Senhora de Fátima à Venerável Irmã Lúcia dos Santos em Pontevedra, Espanha’

Quem escreveu este lixo?

Para mais ‘cereja no topo do bolo’, e para dar um tapa na espessura, leia isto:Aparições em Pontevedra

National Fatima Convention to be held in Quezon City

If you wish to comment, simply ignore the shit about ‘blocks’ foisted on each post by wordpress, and simply type in your comment.

Se quiser comentar, simplesmente ignore a merda dos ‘bloqueios’ imposta em cada post pelo wordpress, e simplesmente digite o seu comentário.

Python: ‘Batteries included’ – but watch out for the ‘sell-by’ date.

There are at least two types of ‘patzer’ in the ‘Software Development’ domain, these two have caused me more hassle and annoyance than any other part of the mangled shit we have to deal with frequently:-

  • The complete innocent who ‘contributes’ an article and/or code project, without specifying the version and/or revision of the software environment on which his/her project depends.
  • The developer/maintainer who deletes/alters previously published library code, with nary a thought for whatever has been written for the previous version.

By far, the worst offenders are ‘contributors’ in the Python Development Community. Yes, things have changed, certainly for me.If anyone used to develop software on Microsoft’s ‘environment’, they will remember, probably with horror, the ‘DLL Hell’ everyone had to experience.
‘Things’ should have changed, but they haven’t, well not much.

In the above, just a few simple rules are required. The ‘developer’ does NOT delete/alter previously released functions. These should be supported but marked as ‘deprecated’. All too often the developer is making use of an ‘exposed’ interface him/herself. This is simply sloppy and lazy.
The ‘contributor’ simply provides the version and revision of his Python interpreter, and similar for the libraries he is using.

As is usual when there is ‘misunderstanding’ between folks speaking different languages, we could blame the interpreter.
Mostly, this is the root cause of the problem, with Python, and similar interpreters.

Several times I see ‘solutions’ involving downloading and building libraries from scratch on my own machine. So apparently I have to ‘manufacture’ my ‘batteries’? On such occasions I’m tempted to comment by suggesting that the ‘contributor’ finds a quiet corner, and stands with his face in it,
Well, no I’m not tempted to say that, but something quite different, but have no wish to offend.

Looking For A Rainbow?

Spotted this one a little North-West of Miranda-Do-Corvo, Central Portugal.
Always a great joy to behold, and a reminder of all the somewhat silly, but enchanting tales we both heard and read as children.
It is doubtful whether anyone ever found a ‘pot of gold’, or anything else after attempting to follow the ‘myths’, but that really doesn’t matter here, just the sheer majestic composition of white light being fully displayed.

Latterly the phrase ‘chasing a rainbow’ was exemplified in Chris Rea’s “Looking For A Rainbow’, a somewhat stark critique of the ‘Thatcher’ period of government in the UK. In my personal view, one that was absolutely apposite.

Well we come down to the valley.
Yea we’re looking for the honey.
I see a rainbow.
I say that’s the land of milk and honey.

Me and my cousin.
Me and my brother,
My little sister too.
Come looking for a rainbow.
Yea we’re looking for a rainbow.

Well we come down to the valley.
Got our babies in our arms.
Yea we’re Maggie’s little children,
And we’re looking for Maggie’s farm.

Me and my cousin.
Me and my brother.
My little sister too.
Come looking for a rainbow.
Yea we’re looking for a rainbow.

Well we come down to the valley.
We ain’t far away no more.
You can’t leave us dying this time,
’cause we’re all around your door.

Me and my cousin.
Me and my brother.
My little sister too,
Come looking for a rainbow.
Yea we’re looking for a rainbow.

(C) Christopher Anton Rea, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Will no one rid me of this LibreOffice Writer ‘suggestion’ rubbish?

(With apologies to Henry II of England, RIP)

Yeah. Take a look at the above. It isn’t the 1st time I’ve seen this irritating bullshit decorating my LibreOffice Writer files.
What the flying f**k ‘themselves‘ obliterating part of penultimate paragraph, is about I have NO IDEA – and I’ll bet, neither have the authors of this bloat. I gave up using Microsoft Office for the same reason – style over substance.
Nothing I’ve looked at online describes this behaviour. As soon as the cursor is moved off the libreOffice application,the ‘suggestion’ evaporates.
I’m using the so-called ‘legacy’ 32-bit Raspberry pi OS on a pi400.
I’ve tried to ‘join’ the libreoffice forum, but gave up in disgust. I provided all the details asked for, got a confirmation email, asked to fill in another form which is irrelevant. Also, the usual BULLSHIT ASTERISKED password entries, with NO FACILITY to see what I’ve typed.
A complete waste of space.

The Moussaka Affair

O Caso Moussaka.

Tuesday 24th Sept, 2024 @ 18:22

Tradução para português

A ‘different’ day.
It didn’t start that different. A ‘tidy’ up this morning, then an uneventful grocery shop.
As ‘light relief’ I had planned to cook a ‘moussaka’ – a meal I used to indulge in back on Tyneside at a lovely Greek restaurant in Newcastle.
Now my ‘chili con carne’ is not quite ‘world famous’, but still loved and enjoyed by friends. Based on my first seeing Keith Floyd rustle up this lovely dish many years ago, I have made it so many times it has become part of me.
So, I have thought often, what about a ‘few tweaks’ and making a Mousakka? A walk in the Park?

Armed with a couple of large Aubergines and 1Kg of minced beef I set to work, not to mention the accompaniment of Music and a box of ‘Silgueira’ – a rather tasty vinho tinto from Porto.

When the final dish was in the oven, I was almost exhausted. Never, ever, have I had to put so much effort into making, what, at first sight is simply a variant of ‘Lasagne Bolognesa’.

To be honest, I love to cook. Music, wine, creation – it has everything.
On this occasion it had too much of one thing, and a lack of something else – but what these two ‘components’ are, I really do not know..

I vaguely remember taking it out of the oven, switching off the oven, and pouring yet another glass of wine. Sat down in the kitchen, at the table, I was singing along to Barbara Dixon and Johnny Mathis.

Then I woke up. My bum was cramped, my ‘lunch’ was in front of me in a large dish, ready to be ‘served’ but now cooled to nearly cold, and an unfinished glass of wine in front of me.

Falling asleep on an upright chair, is something that has happened before on excursions into sublime oblivion. What surprises me, is why I never fall off.

Two, quite urgent ‘messages’ were apparent – one, I was cold, the other, damned hungry.
I closed the door, then cut, and removed a chunk of my masterpiece onto a plate.

Well, at least is was palatable. The beef, in my well-seasononed sauce was tasty. The rest? Least said, soonest mended.

The ‘few tweaks’ had become something of a marathon, only driven on by my enthusiasm, lovely music and ‘top-ups’ with excellent wine.

It was a bloody disaster..

Oh yes, I’ll eat it – bit by bit. But the attempt to recapture the lovely dish I’d had many years ago had failed – miserably.

Update Wednesday, 25/09/2024 @13:35
I have three favourite ‘R’s – Retribution, Redemption & Respite.

I’m keeping an open mind about this ‘dish’, and I’m only referring to the one I’ve already cooked.
Maybe after being portioned and frozen for a while, I might find them a little more appetizing..
I won’t repeat attempting the dish again, too much time and effort, for apparently scant reward.
Also I’d made too much ‘sauce’ for the two Aubergines, so a considerable quantity was left until this morning. Being for the mousakka, I’d reduced the water content with slow simmering, so the sauce was quite ‘thick’.
I decided to convert the substantial remainder into a ‘chili’. But hang on, that meant adding chopped-up malaguetas (my usual choice), or chili powder, either of which would need the remainder to be re-cooked again. I opted instead for a hot ‘piri-piri’ sauce from Makro’s ‘Professional’ range.
I use the latter on BBQ chicken etc., plus the ‘triturado’ for extra ‘oomph’.
So after adding a generous portion of red beans (fejao encarnado) I added some water, and some of the hot piri-piri sauce – no science, just my knowledge and experience with the BBQs.
So on a low heat, and a frequent stir, plus gob-fulls of my favourite ‘Dao’ red it was deemed ready for a taste-test.
A small spoonful was shoveled into my mouth. The minced beef was tender and tasty, and the strong taste delicious. That my nasal sense-organs signaled panic, there is no doubt – I sneezed powerfully.
After blowing my nose, then gulping more wine, the delicious taste lingered. ‘Wow!’ I thought, ‘that was bloody lovely!’. A little later another taste, this time with one of the beans included.
No sneeze, no eyes watering, just a sense of pleasure.
Essential – a ‘chili’ should always be accompanied by a ‘calming’ component. Pasta, Rice – even mashed boiled potato.
A little later, I scoffed a big helping, with Fusili pasta – lovely!

And the tree ‘R’s?
Retribution – For my ignorance.
Redemption – A by-product from the remainder that is truly lovely.
Respite – A full belly, and realization that all was not, indeed lost, plus a good laugh at myself..

The remainder of both dishes will be frozen. The labels on my ‘chilified’ version will be labelled ‘Beef and Red Beans in a Hot Piri-PIri Sauce.’

‘Kiss me Piri-Piri, kiss me,
Thrill me Piri-Piri thrill me.
Don’t care even if I blow my top,
But Piri Piri – ‘Uh-Huh?’
Don’t stop!

[With apologies to Shirley Bassey, Michael Julien, and Albon Timothy]
See her on Youtube: Shirley Bassey – Kiss Me, Honey, Honey.

Portuguesa

Um dia ‘diferente’.
Não começou assim tão diferente. Uma ‘arrumação’ esta manhã, depois uma mercearia sem incidentes.
Como “ligeiro alívio”, planeei preparar uma “moussaka” – uma refeição que costumava saborear em Tyneside, num adorável restaurante grego em Newcastle.
Ora o meu ‘chili con carne’ não é propriamente ‘mundialmente famoso’, mas não deixa de ser amado e apreciado pelos amigos. Com base na primeira vez que vi Keith Floyd preparar este adorável prato há muitos anos, já o fiz tantas vezes que se tornou parte de mim.
Assim, tenho pensado muitas vezes, que tal uns “alguns ajustes” e fazer um Mousakka? Um passeio no parque?

Munido de um par de Beringelas grandes e 1Kg de carne picada comecei a trabalhar, já para não falar do acompanhamento de Música e de uma caixa de ‘Silgueira’ – um saboroso vinho tinto do Porto.

Quando o prato final chegou ao forno, eu estava quase exausto. Nunca, nunca, tive de me esforçar tanto para fazer aquilo que, à primeira vista, é simplesmente uma variante da ‘Lasanha à Bolonhesa’.

Para ser sincero, adoro cozinhar. Música, vinho, criação – há de tudo.
Nesta ocasião, havia muito de uma coisa e faltava outra – mas o que são estes dois “componentes”, não sei bem.

Lembro-me vagamente de o tirar do forno, desligá-lo e servir mais um copo de vinho. Sentei-me na cozinha, à mesa, a cantar ao som de Barbara Dixon e Johnny Mathis.

Então acordei. O meu rabo estava com cãibras, o meu “almoço” estava à minha frente num prato grande, pronto para ser “servido”, mas agora arrefecido quase frio, e um copo de vinho inacabado à minha frente.

Adormecer numa cadeira vertical é algo que já aconteceu anteriormente em excursões ao esquecimento sublime. O que me surpreende é porque nunca caio.

Duas ‘mensagens’ bastante urgentes eram aparentes – uma, estava com frio, a outra, com muita fome.
Fechei a porta, cortei e coloquei um pedaço da minha obra-prima num prato.

Bem, pelo menos era palatável. A carne, no meu molho bem temperado, estava saborosa. O resto? Menos dito, mais rápido corrigido.

Os “alguns ajustes” tornaram-se uma espécie de maratona, impulsionados apenas pelo meu entusiasmo, música adorável e “recargas” com excelente vinho.

Foi um desastre sangrento..

Ah, sim, vou comê-lo – pouco a pouco. Mas a tentativa de recuperar o prato adorável que comi há muitos anos falhou – redondamente.

Atualização quarta-feira, 25/09/2024 às 13h35
Tenho três ‘R’s favoritos – Retribuição, Redenção e Trégua.

Estou de mente aberta em relação a este ‘prato’, e refiro-me apenas ao que já preparei.
Talvez depois de serem repartidos e congelados durante algum tempo, possa achá-los um pouco mais apetitosos.
Não voltarei a repetir a tentativa do prato, muito tempo e esforço, por uma recompensa aparentemente escassa.
Além disso, fiz demasiado “molho” para as duas beringelas, pelo que sobrou uma quantidade considerável para esta manhã. Sendo para o mousakka, reduzi o teor de água com uma fervura lenta, pelo que o molho ficou muito “espesso”.
Decidi converter o restante substancial em ‘chili’. Mas espere, isso significava adicionar malaguetas picadas (a minha escolha habitual) ou pimenta em pó, qualquer um dos quais precisaria que o resto fosse cozinhado novamente. Optei por um molho picante ‘piri-piri’ da linha ‘Professional’ da Makro.
Eu uso este último em frango de churrasco, etc., mais o ‘triturado’ para ‘energia’ extra.
Assim, depois de adicionar uma generosa porção de feijão vermelho, acrescentei um pouco de água e um pouco do molho picante de piri-piri – sem ciência, apenas o meu conhecimento e experiência com churrascos.
Depois, em lume brando e mexendo frequentemente, para além do meu tinto ‘Dao’ favorito, foi considerado pronto para um teste de sabor.
Uma pequena colherada foi colocada na minha boca. A carne picada estava tenra e saborosa, e o sabor forte, delicioso. Que os meus órgãos sensoriais nasais sinalizaram pânico, não há dúvida – espirrei com força.
Depois de se assoar e beber mais vinho, o sabor delicioso manteve-se. ‘Uau!’ Pensei, ‘isto foi adorável!’. Um pouco mais tarde outra prova, desta vez com um dos feijões incluído.
Sem espirros, sem olhos lacrimejantes, apenas uma sensação de prazer.
Essencial – um ‘chili’ deve ser sempre acompanhado por um componente ‘calmante’. Massa, Arroz – até puré de batata cozida.
Um pouco depois, gozei com uma dose generosa, com massa Fusili – que delícia!

E a árvore ‘R’s?
Retribuição – Pela minha ignorância.
Redenção – Um subproduto do resto que é verdadeiramente adorável.
Tréguas – Uma barriga cheia e a perceção de que nem tudo estava, de facto, perdido, para além de uma boa gargalhada de mim próprio.

O restante de ambos os pratos será congelado. Os rótulos da minha versão ‘chilificada’ serão rotulados como ‘Carne e feijão vermelho em molho picante Piri-PIri’.

‘Beija-me Piri-Piri, beija-me,
Emocione-me Piri-Piri emocione-me.
Não me importo mesmo que exploda,
Mas Piri Piri – ‘Uh-Hã?’
Não pare!

[Com os nossos pedidos de desculpa a Shirley Bassey, Michael Julien e Albon Timothy]
Veja-a no Youtube: Shirley Bassey – Kiss Me, Honey, Honey.