Author Archives: joesportugal

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Cheesecake Verdict – The Ants Have It

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Veredicto do Cheesecake – As Formigas Estão Comigo

Há dois dias, eu e a minha namorada provámos um cheesecake que comprei no LIDL. A cobertura era pelo menos comestível, mas infelizmente não consigo descrever o que eu e ela sentimos em relação à base sem usar alguns palavrões. Digamos que parece o que era: achatado. Coloquei o restante cheesecake no exterior, para perguntar às formigas o que achavam. Concordaram exatamente com a nossa opinião. A cobertura foi consumida, a base cuidadosamente ignorada.

[English]
Two days ago my girlfriend and I sampled a cheesecake I bought in LIDL. The topping was at least edible, unfortunately I can’t describe what her and I felt about the base, without using some profanity. Let’s just say it looks like what it was – flattened. I placed the remainder outside, to ask the ants what they thought about it. They concurred with our thoughts precisely. The topping was consumed, the base studiously ignored.

Sandy Denny – Her life and times, a review

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My most powerful and enduring memory of Sandy Denny, was in a concert by Fotheringay in Newcastle City Hall. The orchestra pit had been boarded over and extra seats installed and I was sat somewhere in the 3rd row. For a large part of the performance, Sandy sat at the lovely New Steinway Grand Piano and sang. I never took my eyes off her, and was rewarded by acknowledged glances and smiles, but most of all, she looked directly at me as she sang through most of the concert.
Whilst feeling very special, I recognised something I’d done many years before, singing solo as a young boy in front of audiences. Looking out from a lonely stage to a sea of faces can be terrifying. I would pick out a person, usually a woman, who was intent on me, and sing to her, all of the other faces then didn’t matter. The feeling is very personal, and quite intimate.

Later, much later. I heard of Sandy’s untimely demise from someone I disliked intensely. Hearing it from him seemed to make the news even more hurtful, he was more than aware of how I felt about her.

There has been much said and written about Sandy Denny and latterly a review of a book about her is here Life and Times of Sandy Denny

1938 Chamberlain & Hitler; 2025 Trump & Putin

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Who said ‘History repeats itself’? – Give that man top prize.

Update: 16th August 2025
As is usual with Mr. Trump, lot’s of gas, but nothing gained.
Mr. Trump is consistently big on promises, but pathetically little on delivering them.
As my Pa used to say: ‘His promises are like pie-crust, easily broken.’
I guess that makes him ‘The Pie-crust President’.

The following link leads to a short observation by Anthony Zurcher, he says it all for me.
So much hot air

Later today, Ivo Daalder, former US NATO representative has said ‘No one in Europe today trusts Donald Trump’s US to defend them if they were attacked, and no-one in Ukraine is going to believe that unless and until they are the member of the one organisation that exists explicitly for that purpose.’ (Credit BBC News)

My suspicions regarding ‘Deal-maker Donald’, are that he and Putin are quite happy to carve up the world between them. His gloating tweets about all of the lovely NATO cheques crediting the US, from Europe for arms to help Ukraine are sick-making. Neither he, nor Putin want Ukraine in NATO, Donald because it’s a good deal better (more money for US) than supporting a Ukraine in NATO, and Putin ‘Vlad the Cad’, because he’s a fascist dictator, not unlike Hitler.

Here’s what Vitaly Shevchenko (BBC Anchorage) has to say: Putin is a happy man

In 1938 at Munich, Chamberlain got an international agreement that Hitler should have the Sudetenland in exchange for Germany making no further demands for land in Europe.
Chamberlain said it was ‘Peace for our time’.
Hitler said he had ‘No more territorial demands to make in Europe.’
On 1 October German troops occupied the Sudetenland:
Hitler had got what he wanted without firing a shot. What came after was truly dreadful. Millions died.

Quote from BBC News:
Trump had signalled that Ukraine might have to cede territory in order to end the war, which began with Russia’s full-scale invasion of its neighbour in February 2022.

Trump said at the White House on Friday:
“You’re looking at territory that’s been fought over for three and a half years, a lot of Russians have died. A lot of Ukrainians have died.”

“It’s very complicated. We’re going to get some back, we’re going to get some switched.
There will be some swapping of territories, to the betterment of both.”

The US president did not provide further details of what that proposal would look like.

Well Donald, it may seem complicated to you, but other’s, particularly in Europe, will see the stark reality of you rewarding Putin for his illegal acts of land grab, and the wanton slaughter of Ukrainian citizens.

Comments. Should you wish to comment, please do so, and simply ignore’ the ‘Block’ bullshit.
Please see what I think about WordPress’s idea of what a ‘comment’ is here: What is a comment?

Thanks for Nothing Expatica, and Goodnight

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Hi. Did a foray, in my search for a soulmate, as neither myself nor Mr/Mrs Snail, has had much luck lately.
This is a recent attempt with Expatica. Maybe my words are too long for the AI ‘inspector’ to understand?

Click on the image to see it correctly in your browser.
The error message reads:
Error: description not submitted. Please edit your description and resubmit for approval

My ‘description’ reads: “Hi, Despite the vagaries of age, I’m fit and well. Fun-loving and a little naughty.”

My answer to Expatica. “On your bike, and take your AI rubbish with you.”

Thanks for the memory

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Yes. Thanks for the memory.
I’ll start this with a quip made of my old blog RFFT in 2016

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought, then finally said, ‘What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’

Yes, I agree, the above is somewhat extreme, and in my view demonstrates not simply impaired memory, but preoccupation with something else. IOW He isn’t ‘in the room’.

As someone in their seventy-eighth year. It is obvious to me, that short-term memory problems are a clear and present danger for me. The results are usually not too bad if I’m at home, but are accompanied with foul-mouthed expletives leveled out loud at myself.
I’ve always been strict about placement of items I need, not simply everyday objects but tools, electronic components, and last but not least, code and other scribbling held on digital media.
The ‘help’ from individuals who apparently can’t remember where they took something from, and insist on finding a new ‘home’ for it is deeply unwelcome.
This is a feature I referred to above, one of pre-occupation. Their attention is on problems of their own, and lead to lack of focus on what they are currently doing.

My ‘outages’ are generally simply irritating, thankfully. The classic of writing out a shopping list, only to leave it on the table, are apparently not just a trait of mine, but other folks.
I get to the mart, and realize, I haven’t the list, but inevitably remember what I need in spite of this. Those occasions when I don’t write a list, can frequently end up forgetting something I need, despite the item count being relatively small.

Long term memories can be both a blessing, and a curse. I remember the squalor and discomfort of my early life in post-war Gateshead. But even then, there was beauty. Ringtons Tea merchants had a small fleet of hansom cabs, and some truly beautiful horses. I would walk to school early, just to stand and watch them leave in the morning. Mark Tony, who had an ice cream parlour on the High Street, also had a cart pulled by a lovely big grey, and I would stand and talk to it whilst eating my penny cornet.

Most of the pain came from people that should have known better. Teachers, and parents, and of course, the school bullies. Interestingly, I realize now, just how bad it really was. The truth is simple, everyone was suffering much of the same.

Well, I’ve mentioned now, and the dim distant past, what of the middle? To say too much here, would hurt too many folk. The memories are strong, and looking back, I wouldn’t be a subject for sanctification. Many mistakes were made, and not just by me. There is the gift of lovely children, and the apparent rancor of ex-partners and others.

So I have to accept that, despite circumstances, I can still remember the very good and the bad. In most respects, that hasn’t changed, nor would I want it to. I can’t ‘erase’ my mistakes, preferring to learn from them.

Now a bit of ‘old’ fun from someone really discombobulated.

‘I went to the pictures tomorrow
I took a front seat at the back
A lady she gave me some chocolates
I ate them. and gave her them back.
I fell from the pit to the gallery
And broke a front bone in my back
I called for a taxi, and walked it
And that’s how I never got back.’

The much derided Snot – O tão ridicularizado Ranho

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[English]
‘The boy stood on the burning deck
Picking his nose quite bad.
He rolled bits into little balls
And flicked them at his Dad‘.

Yes, and you’ve probably seen and heard worse,
One reference is in the quite naughty rhyme that has a young man asking permission to progressively touch the body parts of a new girl-friend:

‘Touched her on her nose, that’s my share.
That’s my snotter-box and you can play there‘.

As a kid, both sleeves of my school jacket had mucous trails on them. My mother was disgusted, but had stopped providing me with hankies, because I lost them, and they cost money. (No tissues back then)
A common sight on Gateshead High Street was to see an old man, standing on the kerb of the pavement, holding the top of his nose, and blowing streams of it, into the road.
Having been a City dweller for many years, I never suffered from ‘Hay-fever’, as it was known. Now, here in the foothills of The Serra De Lousa, in Portugal, a large part of the year brings on incessant bouts of nose dripping and requires the purchase of large quantities of paper tissues.
The ‘results’ if examined visually, are usually completely clear. No I can’t see the myriad spores of pollen and other irritants such as fungi etc.

The BBC recently published an article which is quite informative, and has some amusing artwork also. Look here: What your snot can reveal about your health

A Portuguese translation will be done a little later, but the verse, being idiomatic, will be omitted.
Será feita uma tradução para português um pouco mais tarde, mas o verso, por ser idiomático, será omitido.

Bearing Concrete Fruit? – Dando Frutos Concretos?

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Wikipaedia article

É difícil ler sobre a captura bem-sucedida de uma ave “extinta na natureza” como esta bela criatura.
Infelizmente, tentar subscrever a newsletter do Zoomarine foi um erro, o culpado de sempre — uma verificação de segurança “feita na primeira poste” porque a imagem a verificar estava disponível — aparentemente “bloqueada pelo cliente”, quando verifiquei a saída da consola do browser.

Agradeço ao Algarve News a publicação deste artigo, mas a metáfora ‘dar frutos concretos” é, na “minha opinião”, singularmente desadequada.

Atualização a 2 de junho de 2025.
Escrevi ao Algarve News sobre o uso desta metáfora e, aparentemente, o artigo foi traduzido pelo ZooMarine e passado ao Algarve News. Existe um perigo inerente à tradução de “expressões idiomáticas” de uma língua para outra e, por isso, as metáforas devem ser evitadas. Eu próprio as utilizei deliberadamente neste post, como demonstração de como podem ser confusas depois de traduzidas.

[English]
It is heartening to read about the successful hatching of an ‘extinct in the wild’ bird, such as this beautiful creature.
Sadly, trying to subscribe to Zoomarine’s newsletter was a failure, the usual ‘culprit’ – a security check which ‘fell at the first post’ because the image to check wasn’t available – apparently ‘locked by client’, when I checked the browser console output.

Thank you Algarve News for publishing this article, but the very questionable metaphor ‘bearing concrete fruit’ is in ‘my view’, singularly inappropriate.

Update 2nd June 2025.
I wrote to Algarve News regarding the use of this metaphor, and apparently the article was translated by ZooMarine and passed to Algarve News. There is an inherent danger of translating ‘idioms’ from one language to another, and therefore metaphors, should be avoided. I have deliberately used these myself in this post, as a demonstration of how confusing they can be, once translated.

Soccoro Chick Algarve News report

Adding a comment
Wordpress apparently expect readers of my posts to understand the rubbish about ‘blocks’, given when you attempt to make a comment. Simply ignore the inane instruction ‘Type / to choose a block’ and make your comment.

Nature’s Uncanny Beauty

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Alertado pelo meu amigo Martin, tirei estas fotos de um “pilar” solar ontem à noite. Embora aparentemente bem documentado, esta é a primeira vez que vejo este belo fenómeno.
Duas características distintas são a coluna vertebral em si e a cor vermelha. A coluna vertebral é provocada pelo reflexo de cristais de gelo em queda, e a tonalidade vermelha pela “dispersão de Rayleigh”, que se refere à luz que atravessa partículas muito mais pequenas que o comprimento de onda da luz, filtrando assim o azul e o violeta, deixando o vermelho.

Portanto, não é Deus a deixar a Terra enojado com o que Ele próprio criou, embora fosse útil se levasse Putin e Trump consigo ao partir. Boa viagem, para o mau lixo.

[English]
Alerted by my friend Martin, I took these photos of a sun ‘pillar’ yesterday evening.Although apparently well-documented, this is the very first time I have ever seen this beautiful phenomena.
Two distinct features are the column itself, and the red colour. The column is caused by the reflection of falling ice crystals, and the red hue by ‘Rayleigh scattering’, referring to the light passing through particles much smaller than the wavelength of light, thus filtering out the blue and violet leaving red.

So it’s not God leaving the Earth in disgust at what He himself has created, though it would be useful if he took Putin and Trump with him as he left. Good riddance, to bad rubbish.

AI, a latter day ‘Kings New Coat’ or God, Lord, Saviour et al.

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The current furore over chatGPT’s ‘sycophantic’ answers, is in itself, ridiculous. A game of ‘follow my leader’ by many companies, and apparently a large percentage of the population, that expects sensible and suitable results from them doing ‘naff all’, is not unlike praying to a God, for what they want, instead of simply doing it themselves.

True machine learning is a very useful tool. Using shit scraped from existing websites and hosted in an LLM, ends up as an aggregation, in other words, a bag of shit. My view is simple, users of these ‘bots’ get exactly what they deserve, nothing useful whatsoever.

So-called social-media, facebook, ‘X’ plus a long list of other garbage sites that deliberately post news of this, so folks can ‘have their say’, is a simple scam, to promote discord and argument to sell advertising space, so that the weak-minded that follow, are lead like lemmings, into parting with their hard-earned dosh.
Latterly, Google puts a so-called ‘summary’ from AI, at the top of a search page, adding to the crap I have to ignore in front of me.

I advertise nothing. I believe in no ‘god’, and no hype. Frankly, I care not if folks dislike what I post, the truth apparently, can ‘hurt’. The bywords on my ‘compliments slip’ for many years, has been ‘Belief In Divine Intervention Proved Worthless, So I Did This Stuff Myself.”