Hi Google.
A recent translation of ‘bag of shit’ into Portuguese was ‘translated’ into ‘pagina horrivel’.
While I might agree that a bag of shit is unpleasant, it isn’t a ‘horrible page’.
If this is an example of what we have to put up with from your adoption of AI – another misrepresentation, you can stick your translation service up your rectum – yes I can be offensive without using anglo-saxon.
Take a look at this: Crisp packet gun
Yes, there will be more. It ain’t intelligent – it’s a bag of shit. What is intelligent about relying on an image recognition system that can’t distinguish the difference between a gun and a packet of crisps?
The idiots that mandate installion of this crap, should be penalised heavily. Saying ‘Sorry’ should be a million dollar fine.
Veredicto do Cheesecake – As Formigas Estão Comigo
Há dois dias, eu e a minha namorada provámos um cheesecake que comprei no LIDL. A cobertura era pelo menos comestível, mas infelizmente não consigo descrever o que eu e ela sentimos em relação à base sem usar alguns palavrões. Digamos que parece o que era: achatado. Coloquei o restante cheesecake no exterior, para perguntar às formigas o que achavam. Concordaram exatamente com a nossa opinião. A cobertura foi consumida, a base cuidadosamente ignorada.
[English]
Two days ago my girlfriend and I sampled a cheesecake I bought in LIDL. The topping was at least edible, unfortunately I can’t describe what her and I felt about the base, without using some profanity. Let’s just say it looks like what it was – flattened. I placed the remainder outside, to ask the ants what they thought about it. They concurred with our thoughts precisely. The topping was consumed, the base studiously ignored.
Who said ‘History repeats itself’? – Give that man top prize.
Update: 16th August 2025
As is usual with Mr. Trump, lot’s of gas, but nothing gained.
Mr. Trump is consistently big on promises, but pathetically little on delivering them.
As my Pa used to say: ‘His promises are like pie-crust, easily broken.’
I guess that makes him ‘The Pie-crust President’.
The following link leads to a short observation by Anthony Zurcher, he says it all for me.
So much hot air
Later today, Ivo Daalder, former US NATO representative has said ‘No one in Europe today trusts Donald Trump’s US to defend them if they were attacked, and no-one in Ukraine is going to believe that unless and until they are the member of the one organisation that exists explicitly for that purpose.’ (Credit BBC News)
My suspicions regarding ‘Deal-maker Donald’, are that he and Putin are quite happy to carve up the world between them. His gloating tweets about all of the lovely NATO cheques crediting the US, from Europe for arms to help Ukraine are sick-making. Neither he, nor Putin want Ukraine in NATO, Donald because it’s a good deal better (more money for US) than supporting a Ukraine in NATO, and Putin ‘Vlad the Cad’, because he’s a fascist dictator, not unlike Hitler.
Here’s what Vitaly Shevchenko (BBC Anchorage) has to say: Putin is a happy man
In 1938 at Munich, Chamberlain got an international agreement that Hitler should have the Sudetenland in exchange for Germany making no further demands for land in Europe.
Chamberlain said it was ‘Peace for our time’.
Hitler said he had ‘No more territorial demands to make in Europe.’
On 1 October German troops occupied the Sudetenland:
Hitler had got what he wanted without firing a shot. What came after was truly dreadful. Millions died.
Quote from BBC News:
Trump had signalled that Ukraine might have to cede territory in order to end the war, which began with Russia’s full-scale invasion of its neighbour in February 2022.
Trump said at the White House on Friday:
“You’re looking at territory that’s been fought over for three and a half years, a lot of Russians have died. A lot of Ukrainians have died.”
“It’s very complicated. We’re going to get some back, we’re going to get some switched.
There will be some swapping of territories, to the betterment of both.”
The US president did not provide further details of what that proposal would look like.
Well Donald, it may seem complicated to you, but other’s, particularly in Europe, will see the stark reality of you rewarding Putin for his illegal acts of land grab, and the wanton slaughter of Ukrainian citizens.
Comments. Should you wish to comment, please do so, and simply ignore’ the ‘Block’ bullshit.
Please see what I think about WordPress’s idea of what a ‘comment’ is here: What is a comment?
Hi. Did a foray, in my search for a soulmate, as neither myself nor Mr/Mrs Snail, has had much luck lately.
This is a recent attempt with Expatica. Maybe my words are too long for the AI ‘inspector’ to understand?
Click on the image to see it correctly in your browser.
The error message reads:
Error: description not submitted. Please edit your description and resubmit for approval
My ‘description’ reads: “Hi, Despite the vagaries of age, I’m fit and well. Fun-loving and a little naughty.”
My answer to Expatica. “On your bike, and take your AI rubbish with you.”
The following link indicates the trajectory that is sadly followed by big business and useless politicians.
El siguiente enlace indica la trayectoria que tristemente siguen las grandes empresas y los políticos inútiles.
Right To Repair Europe
Direito de Reparar a Europa
The endless flow of ‘Designed To Fail’ shit from China is my concern. An example being the multi-outlet mains block. Complete with input mains lead, and fitted with a switch.
Generally the casings are made of cheap plastic, and in two parts top and bottom RIVETED TOGETHER.
Attempts to remove the rivets usually destroys the case. There is simply no excuse for this, self-tapping screws could be used. Of course, that would mean folks repairing faults would be possible, thus negating discard of the product and purchase of a new one.
The Certificate of conformity should confirm that the item is repairable using readily available tools.
Claptrap about protective measures ensuring customer safety are nonsense. Anyone messing about with mains power should understand the hazards involved.
Singling out each individual product for legislative action is simply ‘jobs for the boys’. Right to repair should include every item in use by the public.
Chancers that think they know everything, can carry on tinkering at their own risk. Idiots that employ such individuals deserve everything they get.
Sample offer of help. “I can do that, have you got a screwdriver, and a pair of side-cutters?”
O fluxo interminável de merda do tipo “Desenhado para Fracassar” da China é a minha preocupação. Um exemplo é o bloco de alimentação com múltiplas tomadas. Completo com cabo de alimentação de entrada e equipado com um interruptor.
Geralmente, as carcaças são feitas de plástico barato e divididas em duas partes, superior e inferior, REBITADAS JUNTAS.
As tentativas de remover os rebites geralmente destroem a caixa. Simplesmente não há desculpa para isso, podem ser utilizados parafusos auto-atarraxantes. Claro que isto significaria que seria possível reparar as falhas, evitando assim o descarte do produto e a compra de um novo.
O Certificado de conformidade deve confirmar que o artigo pode ser reparado utilizando ferramentas facilmente disponíveis.
As conversas sobre medidas de proteção para garantir a segurança do cliente são um disparate. Qualquer pessoa que mexa com energia elétrica deve compreender os riscos envolvidos.
Selecionar cada produto individual para ação legislativa é simplesmente “trabalho para os rapazes”. O direito de reparação deve incluir todos os artigos em uso pelo público.
Os aventureiros que pensam que sabem tudo podem continuar a tentar por sua conta e risco. Os idiotas que empregam tais indivíduos merecem tudo o que recebem.
Exemplo de oferta de ajuda. “Eu consigo fazer isso. Tem uma chave de fendas e um alicate de corte lateral?”
In Virtual Reality, apparently even stupidity exists. For myself, I can’t wait to build one, and join the zombie nation.
Image credit: K. Koleva et al.
I’ll give my verdict first – a complete waste of time and money.
Yes, it’s a while since I purchased this thing and I’ve already referred to ‘Home Assistant’ – which if it was human, would have been dismissed forthwith.
So latterly I installed it. The first ‘hurdle’ is the so-called ‘User Manual’. I had to use a head-band magnifier to read it.
The 2nd ‘hurdle’ the connection diagram IS INCORRECT. Below a photo demonstrating both the almost unreadable text and the INCORRECT CONNECTION DIAGRAM. I’ve also laid an SD Card holder, to give an idea of scale.
Clicking on a photo DOES allow reading of the text due to the High-def pic taken with my old, but loved Agfa DC2030r 12 Megapixel camera.
Following this diagram will result in NO READINGS OTHER THAN ZERO.
Not surprising really, because the CT transformer needs to ENCLOSE ONLY ONE LEG OF THE MAINS SUPPLY, NOT TWO.
My photo below shows the CORRECT CONNECTION – only the ‘L’ leg of the supply going through the CT core.
On the left, is shown only the ‘L’ (Black in Portugal) leg of the mains connection inserted through the CT Transformer.
There are one or two conclusions that can be drawn from this experience.
NO-ONE has attempted to carry out the instructions provided. Primarily, because these are unreadable, and secondly it simply doesn’t work as stated.
This is so typical of the complete shit emanating from China.
Full of promise, complete failure to deliver.
‘Box-shifters’ like Robert Mauser here in Portugal, obviously trust the ‘CE’ given on these products, which are certified as such by the original supplier themselves. To me, ‘CE‘ inevitably signifies COMPLETE EXCREMENT.
And relax..
I can read the display, but I refuse to use the ‘Home Assistant’ crap. Instead I will use the device readings to calibrate my own design, which will be documented later in Tabuascasa
Tuesday 24th Sept, 2024 @ 18:22
A ‘different’ day.
It didn’t start that different. A ‘tidy’ up this morning, then an uneventful grocery shop.
As ‘light relief’ I had planned to cook a ‘moussaka’ – a meal I used to indulge in back on Tyneside at a lovely Greek restaurant in Newcastle.
Now my ‘chili con carne’ is not quite ‘world famous’, but still loved and enjoyed by friends. Based on my first seeing Keith Floyd rustle up this lovely dish many years ago, I have made it so many times it has become part of me.
So, I have thought often, what about a ‘few tweaks’ and making a Mousakka? A walk in the Park?
Armed with a couple of large Aubergines and 1Kg of minced beef I set to work, not to mention the accompaniment of Music and a box of ‘Silgueira’ – a rather tasty vinho tinto from Porto.
When the final dish was in the oven, I was almost exhausted. Never, ever, have I had to put so much effort into making, what, at first sight is simply a variant of ‘Lasagne Bolognesa’.
To be honest, I love to cook. Music, wine, creation – it has everything.
On this occasion it had too much of one thing, and a lack of something else – but what these two ‘components’ are, I really do not know..
I vaguely remember taking it out of the oven, switching off the oven, and pouring yet another glass of wine. Sat down in the kitchen, at the table, I was singing along to Barbara Dixon and Johnny Mathis.
Then I woke up. My bum was cramped, my ‘lunch’ was in front of me in a large dish, ready to be ‘served’ but now cooled to nearly cold, and an unfinished glass of wine in front of me.
Falling asleep on an upright chair, is something that has happened before on excursions into sublime oblivion. What surprises me, is why I never fall off.
Two, quite urgent ‘messages’ were apparent – one, I was cold, the other, damned hungry.
I closed the door, then cut, and removed a chunk of my masterpiece onto a plate.
Well, at least is was palatable. The beef, in my well-seasononed sauce was tasty. The rest? Least said, soonest mended.
The ‘few tweaks’ had become something of a marathon, only driven on by my enthusiasm, lovely music and ‘top-ups’ with excellent wine.
It was a bloody disaster..
Oh yes, I’ll eat it – bit by bit. But the attempt to recapture the lovely dish I’d had many years ago had failed – miserably.
Update Wednesday, 25/09/2024 @13:35
I have three favourite ‘R’s – Retribution, Redemption & Respite.
I’m keeping an open mind about this ‘dish’, and I’m only referring to the one I’ve already cooked.
Maybe after being portioned and frozen for a while, I might find them a little more appetizing..
I won’t repeat attempting the dish again, too much time and effort, for apparently scant reward.
Also I’d made too much ‘sauce’ for the two Aubergines, so a considerable quantity was left until this morning. Being for the mousakka, I’d reduced the water content with slow simmering, so the sauce was quite ‘thick’.
I decided to convert the substantial remainder into a ‘chili’. But hang on, that meant adding chopped-up malaguetas (my usual choice), or chili powder, either of which would need the remainder to be re-cooked again. I opted instead for a hot ‘piri-piri’ sauce from Makro’s ‘Professional’ range.
I use the latter on BBQ chicken etc., plus the ‘triturado’ for extra ‘oomph’.
So after adding a generous portion of red beans (fejao encarnado) I added some water, and some of the hot piri-piri sauce – no science, just my knowledge and experience with the BBQs.
So on a low heat, and a frequent stir, plus gob-fulls of my favourite ‘Dao’ red it was deemed ready for a taste-test.
A small spoonful was shoveled into my mouth. The minced beef was tender and tasty, and the strong taste delicious. That my nasal sense-organs signaled panic, there is no doubt – I sneezed powerfully.
After blowing my nose, then gulping more wine, the delicious taste lingered. ‘Wow!’ I thought, ‘that was bloody lovely!’. A little later another taste, this time with one of the beans included.
No sneeze, no eyes watering, just a sense of pleasure.
Essential – a ‘chili’ should always be accompanied by a ‘calming’ component. Pasta, Rice – even mashed boiled potato.
A little later, I scoffed a big helping, with Fusili pasta – lovely!
And the tree ‘R’s?
Retribution – For my ignorance.
Redemption – A by-product from the remainder that is truly lovely.
Respite – A full belly, and realization that all was not, indeed lost, plus a good laugh at myself..
The remainder of both dishes will be frozen. The labels on my ‘chilified’ version will be labelled ‘Beef and Red Beans in a Hot Piri-PIri Sauce.’
‘Kiss me Piri-Piri, kiss me,
Thrill me Piri-Piri thrill me.
Don’t care even if I blow my top,
But Piri Piri – ‘Uh-Huh?’
Don’t stop!
[With apologies to Shirley Bassey, Michael Julien, and Albon Timothy]
See her on Youtube: Shirley Bassey – Kiss Me, Honey, Honey.
Um dia ‘diferente’.
Não começou assim tão diferente. Uma ‘arrumação’ esta manhã, depois uma mercearia sem incidentes.
Como “ligeiro alívio”, planeei preparar uma “moussaka” – uma refeição que costumava saborear em Tyneside, num adorável restaurante grego em Newcastle.
Ora o meu ‘chili con carne’ não é propriamente ‘mundialmente famoso’, mas não deixa de ser amado e apreciado pelos amigos. Com base na primeira vez que vi Keith Floyd preparar este adorável prato há muitos anos, já o fiz tantas vezes que se tornou parte de mim.
Assim, tenho pensado muitas vezes, que tal uns “alguns ajustes” e fazer um Mousakka? Um passeio no parque?
Munido de um par de Beringelas grandes e 1Kg de carne picada comecei a trabalhar, já para não falar do acompanhamento de Música e de uma caixa de ‘Silgueira’ – um saboroso vinho tinto do Porto.
Quando o prato final chegou ao forno, eu estava quase exausto. Nunca, nunca, tive de me esforçar tanto para fazer aquilo que, à primeira vista, é simplesmente uma variante da ‘Lasanha à Bolonhesa’.
Para ser sincero, adoro cozinhar. Música, vinho, criação – há de tudo.
Nesta ocasião, havia muito de uma coisa e faltava outra – mas o que são estes dois “componentes”, não sei bem.
Lembro-me vagamente de o tirar do forno, desligá-lo e servir mais um copo de vinho. Sentei-me na cozinha, à mesa, a cantar ao som de Barbara Dixon e Johnny Mathis.
Então acordei. O meu rabo estava com cãibras, o meu “almoço” estava à minha frente num prato grande, pronto para ser “servido”, mas agora arrefecido quase frio, e um copo de vinho inacabado à minha frente.
Adormecer numa cadeira vertical é algo que já aconteceu anteriormente em excursões ao esquecimento sublime. O que me surpreende é porque nunca caio.
Duas ‘mensagens’ bastante urgentes eram aparentes – uma, estava com frio, a outra, com muita fome.
Fechei a porta, cortei e coloquei um pedaço da minha obra-prima num prato.
Bem, pelo menos era palatável. A carne, no meu molho bem temperado, estava saborosa. O resto? Menos dito, mais rápido corrigido.
Os “alguns ajustes” tornaram-se uma espécie de maratona, impulsionados apenas pelo meu entusiasmo, música adorável e “recargas” com excelente vinho.
Foi um desastre sangrento..
Ah, sim, vou comê-lo – pouco a pouco. Mas a tentativa de recuperar o prato adorável que comi há muitos anos falhou – redondamente.
Atualização quarta-feira, 25/09/2024 às 13h35
Tenho três ‘R’s favoritos – Retribuição, Redenção e Trégua.
Estou de mente aberta em relação a este ‘prato’, e refiro-me apenas ao que já preparei.
Talvez depois de serem repartidos e congelados durante algum tempo, possa achá-los um pouco mais apetitosos.
Não voltarei a repetir a tentativa do prato, muito tempo e esforço, por uma recompensa aparentemente escassa.
Além disso, fiz demasiado “molho” para as duas beringelas, pelo que sobrou uma quantidade considerável para esta manhã. Sendo para o mousakka, reduzi o teor de água com uma fervura lenta, pelo que o molho ficou muito “espesso”.
Decidi converter o restante substancial em ‘chili’. Mas espere, isso significava adicionar malaguetas picadas (a minha escolha habitual) ou pimenta em pó, qualquer um dos quais precisaria que o resto fosse cozinhado novamente. Optei por um molho picante ‘piri-piri’ da linha ‘Professional’ da Makro.
Eu uso este último em frango de churrasco, etc., mais o ‘triturado’ para ‘energia’ extra.
Assim, depois de adicionar uma generosa porção de feijão vermelho, acrescentei um pouco de água e um pouco do molho picante de piri-piri – sem ciência, apenas o meu conhecimento e experiência com churrascos.
Depois, em lume brando e mexendo frequentemente, para além do meu tinto ‘Dao’ favorito, foi considerado pronto para um teste de sabor.
Uma pequena colherada foi colocada na minha boca. A carne picada estava tenra e saborosa, e o sabor forte, delicioso. Que os meus órgãos sensoriais nasais sinalizaram pânico, não há dúvida – espirrei com força.
Depois de se assoar e beber mais vinho, o sabor delicioso manteve-se. ‘Uau!’ Pensei, ‘isto foi adorável!’. Um pouco mais tarde outra prova, desta vez com um dos feijões incluído.
Sem espirros, sem olhos lacrimejantes, apenas uma sensação de prazer.
Essencial – um ‘chili’ deve ser sempre acompanhado por um componente ‘calmante’. Massa, Arroz – até puré de batata cozida.
Um pouco depois, gozei com uma dose generosa, com massa Fusili – que delícia!
E a árvore ‘R’s?
Retribuição – Pela minha ignorância.
Redenção – Um subproduto do resto que é verdadeiramente adorável.
Tréguas – Uma barriga cheia e a perceção de que nem tudo estava, de facto, perdido, para além de uma boa gargalhada de mim próprio.
O restante de ambos os pratos será congelado. Os rótulos da minha versão ‘chilificada’ serão rotulados como ‘Carne e feijão vermelho em molho picante Piri-PIri’.
‘Beija-me Piri-Piri, beija-me,
Emocione-me Piri-Piri emocione-me.
Não me importo mesmo que exploda,
Mas Piri Piri – ‘Uh-Hã?’
Não pare!
[Com os nossos pedidos de desculpa a Shirley Bassey, Michael Julien e Albon Timothy]
Veja-a no Youtube: Shirley Bassey – Kiss Me, Honey, Honey.
joesportugal 